If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you
Unknown
September 03, 2017
It’s hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal
your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you
finally face what you knew all along anyway.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you
There are a million possibel scenarios here. It’s easier
when he’s an asshole-selfish, only thinking of himself, using you to make
someone else jealous, using you in general, treating you poorly, crushing you
thoughtlessly, whateve. But it’s a lot harder when he’s a good guy, and you
still have to let him go. When he tells you that you’re an incredible person,
but he just doesn’t feel the same way that you do. Or when he really likes you,
but doesnt think you are the one. Or when he just doesnt feel as strongly as
you do and he wants to be honest. Or when he cant seem to make up his mind and
feels confused, which he doesnt yet realize just means that he’s afraid of
hurting you, that feeling “confused” just a softer way of eventually saying ‘no’.
If he wanted to be with you, he wouldnt have had to make up his mind in the
first place. It would just be an answer that he felt deeply in his gut.
But regardless, whether he is wonderful guy or an asshole
or somewhere in between, this is about you, moving on, Because no matter what
the situation was , no matter how well he treated you or how much fun you had
together or how well you got along, he doesn't want to be with you. And that’s
the truth. And that’s going to be you life raft for the next several weeks or
months, no matter how much you don't want to grab onto it. It is what is going
to eventually help you come to peace with the end of your relationship, or the fizzling out
of your fling, or the “no more talking” after you guys spent so much time “talking”.
It is the truth and ugly as it is. It will be the only thing that can help you
move on.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you
It’s easy to try to soften the blow. He needs time, or he
just needs a little space, or he just afraid of commitment and i just need to
reassure him, or he builds walls and it’s my job to kick through them.
But think about the way you feel about him. How easy and
natural and obvious it feels. How you don't even need to question weather or not
you should be with him, because it just feels right in your veins.How, even if
you were scared of committing to someone or getting hurt or opening yourself
up, you were still willing to do it, because your heart had already made up
your mind. You wanted to be with him, so you were. The decision was simple. It
really wasn't even a decision at all.
Now you can imagine feeling all those things but choosing to
be with him anyway?
That’s why you heart is broken, because he didn't feel those
things. He didn't feel that same certainty that you did, deep in your bones. And
you cant change that, and you cant fix yourself, and there’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the truth. His heart
didn't make the decision for his brain, because his heart is in different place
from yours. And that really, really sucks. Ans you just have to accept it and
that sucks even more.
May be you will get over this in weeks, maybe months, may be
longer. It will hurt, someday will be horrible and some will be okay. But the
smallest silver lining is this: you can let your heart break once-instead of
breaking it a million times by convincing yourself that he’s making a mistake
or he probably misses you or you should call him. Love yourself enough to be
hard on yourself.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you.
